In my ten years teaching at UPM, I have met several students (some of them First Class Honors) who have shared with me about their problem with their parents, or more specifically, their problem of parents who won’t let go.

Although these students are in their mid-twenties, their parents still see them as small boys or girls, who are still immature and incapable of making wise decisions on their own. Consequently, their parents believe that they are actually helping their children by making all the decisions for their children: decisions such as where their children should work, whether their children should continue with further studies, or even if their children should go overseas to attend a fully sponsored scientific conference. These students of mine, though already adults, live under their parent’s long shadow and iron-gripped rule.

You can choose your partner and friends, but, unfortunately, you cannot choose your parents. If you are blessed with good parents, lucky you. But if you are damned with bad parents, you risk lifelong psychological stress, low self-confidence, inability to reason and think, and incapable to manage well your life and work.